Sunday, March 30, 2008

UW student proves the existence of God, mathematically!

The following is an actual question given on a University of Washington chemistry midterm. The answer by one student was so "profound" that the professor shared it with colleagues, via the Internet, which is, of course, why we now have the pleasure of enjoying it as well.

Bonus Question: Is Hell exothermic (gives off heat) or endothermic (absorbs heat)?

Most of the students wrote proofs of their beliefs using Boyle's Law (gas cools when it expands and heats when it is compressed) or some variant.
One student, however, wrote the following: First, we need to know how the mass of Hell is changing in time . So we need to know the rate at which souls are moving into Hell and the rate at which they are leaving. I think that we can safely assume that once a soul gets to Hell, it will not leave. Therefore, no souls are leaving. As for how many souls are entering Hell, let's look at the different religions that exist in the world today. Most of these religions state that if you are not a member of their religion, you will go to Hell. Since there is more than one of these religions and since people do not belong to more than one religion, we can project that all souls go to Hell. With birth and death rates as they are, we can expect the number of souls in Hell to increase exponentially.
Now, we look at the rate of change of the volume in Hell because Boyle's Law states that in order for the temperature and pressure in Hell to stay the same, the volume of Hell has to expand proportionately as souls are added.
This gives two possibilities: 1. If Hell is expanding at a slower rate than the rate at which souls enter Hell, then the temperature and pressure in Hell will increase until all Hell breaks loose. 2. If Hell is expanding at a rate faster than the increase of souls in Hell, then the temperature and pressure will drop until Hell freezes over.
So which is it?
If we accept the postulate given to me by Teresa during my Freshman year that, "It will be a cold day in Hell before I sleep with you," and take into account the fact that I slept with her last night, then number two must be true, and thus I am sure that Hell is exothermic and has already frozen over. The corollary of this theory is that since Hell has frozen over, it follows that it is not accepting any more souls and is therefore, extinct......leaving only Heaven, thereby proving the existence of a divine being which explains why, last night, Teresa kept shouting "Oh my God."

5 Comments:

Blogger windrago said...

I keep saying "My God" too !! :-)

10:15 AM  
Blogger Unknown said...

I quit looking for God, now I'm looking for Theresa!

8:54 PM  
Blogger Ubaldo said...

You really should think about what you just did. God's name is Holy, so Holy that we can never comprehend. Anyways I hope you remember to tell this joke when your in hell.

6:11 PM  
Blogger Ubaldo said...

God's name is Holy, so Holy that we could never comprehend if we were to just get a glimpse of his Holiness. Anyways you probably do not care about getting to know more about Jesus, the only begotten son of God, and our Saviour. I really hope you save yourself and seek Jesus. If you don't I hope you remember this joke when you're in hell, because that's where you'll be if you continue with this kind of behaviour towards God.

6:16 PM  
Blogger Peter Jones said...

No, my friend. God is gracious and allow you any joke even blasphemy. Only blasphemy is losing hope in resurrection of Messiah. By the way, Hell is an adiabatic process. Statistical physics shows us that against the odd you can compromise the second law of thermodynamics. boiling half the glass of water in expense of freezing the other half. Odd is one out of ten to power twenty seven. God can do that at any time.
DJ (Messiah)

10:25 AM  

Post a Comment

<< Home