Everyday is Halloween for me!!!

It has been almost exactly 19 years to the day when my dreams and visions of my inner mind turned outward and against me. My schizophrenic delusional state has subsided over the years and led me on a fantastic voyage into the realm of the workings of the inner mind. A recent hospital stay from trying newer meds that didn't work got me a new Dr. that perscribes a better medicine then I have ever had before, and a new diagnoses as schizo-affective with an elevated mood disorder. Not bad considering that I was almost completely and totally catatonic 19 years ago when I came home from Alaska. My mind forced me to relive the autism of the ancient past when I was but two years of age and they "threw the baby out with the bath water" and I was abandond by my parents and left on the State DSHS Foster Care doorstep. I went through 8 foster families in two years, starting when I was two, and only came to my final family when I was four. Memories used to linger on in dreams of my first 6 foster families that faded to be replaced by the living memories that I could keep of my final two families that kept me for longer than 3 months as per law for receiving homes limit on foster kids at that time. The dreams of my childhood mixed with my memories of my misspent youth and created a superstructure for my mind that has indulged in flights of fantasy mixed with doses of Jungian psychology's supraconsciousness, a sort of paranormal intuitive knowing that my unconscious created to determine my souls journey of fate and predestination. In other words; history repeats itself, and the sins of the father are passed onto the sons...even unto the seventh generation! Like the cycle of abuse in families that is well known, my father's being abandond by his father led to my being abandond...and now I come to find out that I may have sown some "wild oats" in my past that has further led the next generation to have grown up without a father. My ghosts that haunt me and the paranormal activity of the mind that co-concurs with schizophrenia reveal this to me. Just a schozoid fantasy? It seems not! I have been informed of a now young man, born from my very first sexual escapade when I attended a brother's bachalor party in 1980. Nice, no, not what your thinking, that was her name, after the city in France...she remembered me and gave the child my nickname as "Sonny!" Still confused by the befuddlement my mind originally suffered, I have long been taking notes and writing in a daily journal and dream diary to write a sort of autobiography of my mind and inner life. My many art designs are often a sort of art therapy of the state of mind I am in at the time and they go along with my plans to finish this story I call the movie of my life. Life is a mystery play, a movie of sorts, and I hope to become the author and director of my own movie...if not the first half of my life, then maybe a future sequel will have the self direction in it I seek. Finished with tomfoolery in many attempts with my returning to college to finish either my three years of Print technology in college, or my degree in computer electronics I started in the USAirForce, I have now begun to embark on finishing my degree in psychology that I started as a dual major in college. That might help me to at least understand my own mind! Studies with the University of Phoenix Online begin this Halloween. And for those interested, the lady in the photo is a friend of a year and a half from onlinedating.com. For some unknown reason she has always remained a friend and encourages me, inspires me, and comforts me. Mary Tessy David is the sort of friend that understands me completely and yet still remains my friend when other's run to lock their doors and change their phone numbers and email addresses! I know just exactly what would scare her away this Halloween...an avowal of engaement, but I wouldn't want to punish her thusly! Well, if the ghosts of the past don't come back to haunt you this Halloween, then my wish for you is that may all your teeth rot and fall out from eating all the trick-or-treater's candy that you were suppose to give away instead!