28 Days

28 Days! No, not the movie, ME! Sunday, August 26th is the start of my 28th day of sobriety. Not that the movie isn't relevant, it does have something to do with this day, but I used it intentionally to purposely mislead you dear reader. I would have more time under my belt, but just after midnight, at 12:10am on Sunday, July 29th, I had an irresistable urge to go out on a binge! Fortunately for me I only had the small change in my pocket, but it was enough to go to the corner gas station and buy a 24 ouncer of Anhauser Busch Natural Ice, my then favorite beer. Knowing full well that I shouldn't, I walked down the street anyways, trying to shunt the still small voice of my conscience and knowing that the beer would soon do that for me! Plagued with guilt and misgivings and dogged by my own shadow, I walked back to my mother's apartment where I had spent much of the evening working on her computer. I sat down to the computer desk and wiggled the mouse to bring the screen back on and illuminate the dark living room with the warm, comfortable glow of the monitor. I set the beer down next to the mousepad and reentered my password, logged onto my gmail account, and stared at the beer! I wrestled with my conscience and that unopened beer for two hours while surfing the internet intemitten with furtive glances at the sweat droplets forming on the can as the beer inside warmed to room temperature. Finally I gave into temptation and cracked that damn beer open to take a swig...and then another, and another. I got nearly a third of it down my gullet when I began to hear the voice of my alcohol counselor's words come back to haunt me when I remembered she spoke of some people failing UA tests: "Only you can control what goes into your body[the urine analysis just tells the story of what you did]." I could imagine hearing my buddies at the AA hall telling me; "the best way to avoid that second drink is to not take the first one!" Knowing the end of the month drew near and that UA's happen unexpectedly after the beginning of the next, I gathered up my senses and went into the kitchen and poured the rest of that warm beer down the sink. That Friday the 3rd the entire group in counseling got tested, and with new advances in testing, alcohol can be detected up to 90 hours after imbibing. I passed! So far, 28 days is my record for going without a beer in the last 6 years of coming home from work with a six pack and sitting down to my computer to surf or watch a DVD. Last October 28th is when I started that record and made it all the way through Thanksgiving festivities without a drink. Detoxing was horrible! I couldn't get to sleep at nights without my beloved beer and I had insomnia for 4 days without sleep before I crashed. What got me through those first 28 days was buying and watching this movie for 28 days straight! So that is what the movie has to do with this blog posting. I plan on watching the movie once again this Sunday as a reminder that I did it once and can do better--one day at a time!