A blog to remind myself.

Hellllllooo myself,
I want to remind myself to not be shy. I was and still am in love with the prettiest girl in high school. I always sat next to Cathy and I could talk to her as a friend while in class, but whenever she spoke to me it was a major embarressment. My face would turn all red and I would stutter in trying to reply to her. I loved her for six long years, all thru jr. high and high school. I was sooooo very shy back in those days that I couldn't tell Cathy that I was madly in love with her. I was afraid of love! Because of this, she met a Senior in our Junior year and eventually married him. I lost the love of my life because I was too damn shy just to say three simple words: I love you! Now I have a chance with a delightful foreign lady and I don't want to "blow it!" I have to remember to be bold and brave, and remember just tell Elena: I love you! Those are some of the simplest words in the English language, but for me they can be the hardest words to say. I blame my past life, being raised in 8 different foster families when I was young, for being afraid of love and commitment. I have had to learn through trial and error how to overcome my fear of being abandoned, and now I just want the chance to reach out to you Elena and say: I love you! I hope you read this blog and hear my words touch your heart. I want to marry you and live happily ever after, if there is such a thing. I want to spend the rest of my life with you and I can only be happy when I think of you! "I love you!"